THAT POLECAT SMELL

I picked a bad time to visit the Male latrine today, but it's the most hysterical thing I have encountered recently.

Alas, When Nature calls, you answer the phone---so off I went to do my business. At my age when summoned to do ones business it is important to take care of business lest it turn out to be bad business for all concerned. It's just good business to handle business in a businesslike manner.

I arrived into our rather large facility to discover that 2 of the 4 stalls were occupied. I have lived through worse, so I occupied the furthest stall away from the others in accordance with Man law. About the time I got settled an odor not normally found in these environs engulfed the room. Let me be perfectly clear and state, for the record, that it was not me. The odor was if someone had brought a live polecat into the latrine and began to skin it alive. Now I have never skinned a polecat but I have smelled my share of them along the highways and by-ways of our great state, so I know that smell. It has a smell all its own, and it's nasty.

At any rate, the door opens and another person occupies the last stall. The polecat smell intensifies. Courtesy flushes begin as if on cue, yet no one says a word. No one need say anything, but in another ten seconds another volley of courtesy flushes. I am doing my business as quickly as I am able, yielding to the "professionals" in the other three stalls. By this time the toilet paper rollers are turning so fast you just know there are sparks flying from the rollers. It is obvious I am out manned and out gunned, and reverse everything I did to make my exit. I complete my chore with quick dispatch. In fact the others do the same. The sound of 4 occupants pulling up, tucking in, and re-buckling is fast and furious, not unlike the firehouse in the middle of the night when the alarm sounds.

I emerge from the stall to find one of our co-workers feverishly brushing his teeth. I explode with laughter.

Whether he was brushing away lunch or the smell of a freshly skinned polecat, I know not. If I would have had some floss handy, I would have given it to him.

FISHER CHRONICLES: The "CHAP"

FISHER CHRONICLES: The "CHAP": I first met Leslie Nelson when she was attached to our Battalion for Annual Training a few years ago--at the time she was a Chaplain in Trai...

The "CHAP"

I first met Leslie Nelson when she was attached to our Battalion for Annual Training a few years ago--at the time she was a Chaplain in Training, not quite finished with all the stuff a guy or gal has to do to become a certified homogenized pasteurized bonified Chaplain in the Military---besides being a Soldier. We could all tell even then that this lady was going to be great, and in no time she became a "real" Chaplain, or "Chap" as we sometimes call them--I liked her so much that we got her to conduct my daughters wedding just after her Chaplaincy. She has been like a member of the family ever since, and came to see me at the hospital during my recent stay. She is just good peeps.

Chaplain Leslie Nelson began today's Braves Caravan festivities that were held yesterday at our headquarters with this prayer...


"Today it is my honor to open our Braves Day here at the National Guard Nation in prayer... Pray with me please...

Lord, we thank you for this day and this opportunity to come together and celebrate America's Favorite pastime with America's Team! We thank you for Ted Turner's stroke of Genius in the 1976 when he broadcast the Braves to small towns everywhere and gave kids something to love more than apple pie. We thank you for the green grass of spring that reminds us that baseball season is upon us, for resin bags and pine tar, and for two of the sweetest words known to man...PLAY BALL! We thank you for nicknames like Hammer, Knucksie, Murph, and of course...Chipper! We thank you for Skip Carey and Bobby Cox and ...for Brian McCann and Freddy Freeman and Jason Heyward and the Upton Brothers, for Mike Minor and Eric O'Flaherty...for all of our hometown heroes who will be taking us to the World Series this year...thank you for guiding their hands to catch every ball headed their way, for giving them clear vision to hit em out of the park, and for blocking the sun from outfield flies...and that the umpires will know the difference between an infield fly and an outfield fly. Thank you for shut outs and home runs...for keeping the Disabled List short...and for keeping the stands filled with cheering fans who love America and Baseball...and the Tomahawk Chop!

And speaking of fans who love America and Baseball, when the Braves make it to the World Series this year, please make a seat available somewhere in the stands for LTC Fisher...and he should probably have a chaplain with him to make sure he behaves...so I'll take one for the team and be that chaplain...

Lord, as we come to the 7th inning stretch of this prayer today, and on a much more serious note, we would be remiss in not asking your blessings over the brave men and women who are fighting all over the world for the freedoms we hold dear. Please keep them out of harm’s way, wrap their loved ones in your grace and peace...and Lord bind their hearts together as the miles keep them apart. Let us never forget the sacrifices our service members and their families make daily in order for us to enjoy the freedoms that make this nation great...and for the victims of the storms that ravaged parts of our state yesterday we ask for comfort and provision...

Today and always...God Bless America... Amen"---

Thats OUR Chap. Great Lady, Soldier, Friend, Chaplain, and American.