I like Saturday because I get to hang out with my best girl,
Wifey.
Today was no exception, but it wouldn't be complete had we not
incurred what started out as a routine task but quickly became an adventure- a
quest, even.
When we recently celebrated Wifeys birthday, she had a cocktail
that quickly became her favorite.
It's called an Aviation.
This particular cocktail got started ions ago, kind of went
extinct, but more recently is out of moth balls for a resurgence.
Regardless, Wifey loved this drink and what Wifey wants Wifey
usually gets. It only stands to reason that we attempt to duplicate the
cocktail at home.
The Aviation is comprised of gin, lemon juice, maraschino
liqueur and creme de violette, which is also a liqueur. And based on the events of today, it may be easier just to order one the next time we go to Dovetail, the restaurant where Wifey and Aviation first met.
It is complex, if not
complicated because
a) it ain't beer
b) two of the ingredients aren't readily
available, and
3) my auto correct just tried to correct the word 'liqueur' to 'liquor',
which only adds to my frustrated ability to communicate.
Armed with my phone, Google, and wi-fi, I did the rational thing
and called the nearest adult beverage store.
"Yes Sir, do you folks by
chance have a couple of liqueurs I need, one is Maraschino liqueur and he other
called Creme De Violette, in order that I make my wife her favorite cocktail
and as a result she finds favor in me?"
The lord as my witness, this is the way my brain and the voice
inside my head asked the question to the man on the other end of the phone.
In reality, it came out like this (It is important to note here that English is my second language, Southern being my first):
"Yessir, dew yew folks have 2 of these lick-kewrs I'm
needin'? Ones called Mary-sheen-oh cherry not the cherries but the lick-kewr
and the otherns called Kreme Dee Vie-oh- let-tay?"
Out of the corner of my eye in the middle of my inquiry I had
noticed Wifey looking at me as if I had just transformed into a unicorn.
I have seen this look before, and quickly surmise that she is impressed with my tenacity, persistence, and ongoing pursuit to keep her to a standard of living to which she has been long accustomed.
Wrong look.
Wifeys face is red. Her eyes are tearing up, her mouth is agape
and there's no sound coming out. She is doubled over. Then she takes in a breath and starts to laugh
from the deepest place in her soul. She starts mimicking me in the same voice I
used (not the inside my brain one) and admits she may have even "peed a
little".
She's roaring and laughing so hard she cannot contain herself. In another moment she has me laughing, about to wet myself.
Well, we finally found the stuff after the fifth attempt.
Liquor store #5, the Macon Beverage Outlet (who knew, right?):
"Yes Sir, we have it" the young lady said. "Maam, I said, hold
on to that bottle I will be there in half hour to pick it up- my name is George!"
She agreed, so Wifey and I took off out the door to get what has to be the rarest and hardest to pronounce beverage in the universe.
We walked in the place, and began to look around. Not having said
one word, the girl behind the counter noticed me and immediately held up
the bottle of the unpronounceable lick-kewr.
Wifey starts laughing, I start laughing. I said " How'd you
know it was me?!?"
She said
"You look like a George"
Wifey said " He acts like one, too!
All is well, Life is good. Now if you will excuse me, I've a cocktail to make.
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