Adventures in grocery shopping, episode 18- “The Essentials”

Lord have mercy, it is Friday and a Holiday weekend. The kids are all coming home so that means a trip to the all important KROGER for provisions. I called Wifey and asked her what I needed to pick up—“just the essentials”, said she. “Text me thy list, oh wise one” said I.


Somewhere on Aisle 2, which is the aisle before the greatest aisle ever (the CEREAL aisle)—I received my text message.

Milk
Bread
Italian/French bread for French toast
Blueberries (French toast)
Grapes for Pootie
Eggs
Cereal
Dog TREATS!!

Even though I am a novice grocery shopper (I normally push the buggy), I immediately thought of a few items that qualified as “essential” so I amended my list accordingly.

Besides the items listed above, here are the items I brought home. To me it is a “no-brainer” and I am puzzled as to why Wifey wouldn’t have thought of these as quickly as I did. Bless her heart, I know she is busy at work today. Please note for all you civilians that it is written in proper US Government format.

Donuts, Powdered, bag, Entenmanns (Pottamus can’t steal these, they are paid for

Wafers, Vanilla (did I mention JoeFish loves these?)

Sammiches, Ice Cream, Chocolate Chip ( precisely-how could you NOT?)

Drink, Chocolate, Yoo Hoo, box, 10 each (for any child that may be here this weekend under the age of 5—just in case)

Drink Mix, Powdered, Ovaltine, (fat free/vitamin fortified) Chocolate, family size (we are a Family--duh! hello?)

*Cereal, Swetened Corn w/ Crunch Berries, Cap’n Crunch, 1 each

*Cereal, Swetened Peanut Butter flavor, Cap’n Crunch, 1 each

* (with Proofs of Purchase for the Retro T-shirt as I know Wifey will steal mine)

Pistol, Revolver, Western Style, Die cast metal, 1 each (to accompany Western movies on TV in the man cave)

Caps, Bang, 250 count per box, 3 boxes (remember, without ammo, its just an argument)

Sauce, Spaghetti, RAGU, traditional 1 each 48 oz. (I do realize that this was a complete emotional and impulse purchase- Wifey, please forgive me this once…)



So there you have it. I think my natural talent as a “quick responder” is obvious. Certainly my Wifey will appreciate this, as will the rest of my crew. I can’t wait until she gets home to also see that I even put all the groceries away!

But that’s me--Always thinking about someone else.

Speaking of someone else, looks like its time to go slop the hog!

Happy Labor Day, Y’all….