My adventures in government travel continued last week with a trip to St. Augustine, Florida for a training course--as one might expect, you cannot work the entire time and a body has to eat...
This food/restaurant review was dictated to me by Jay McNair, Esquire, who likes to eat as much as i do..he was also my traveling companion last year when we went to the frozen tundra of New Hampshire....Jays' voice is similar to any that you would expect to find announcing the color commentary on any Fall Friday night of a Georgia High School Football game.
"We are at the Outback Crab Shack at along 6 Mile Creek--est 1973. We drove a route (elbow to a-hole) to get here---it is situated along the rivers edge and filled with "locals"--some of which chose not to bathe (I believe)-or they just got through fishing--I can't tell.... There are three taxidermed alligators in the front of the place, the smallest of which is about ten feet long, sitting up on its tail and fashioned into what looks like a bookshelf of sorts--The tea is sweet and comes in a take home cup-a bonus..they have a website (outbackcrabshack.com) and I am certain to look it up before my head hits the pillow tonight....The place is huge and the tables are ALL picnic tables--the floors are concrete in one area, wood in yet another, with big spaces between the floorboard big enough to fall through--and of course go "right straight to hell" like the Jimmy Buffett says--the menu contains a varied assortment of sea bounty--fried, grilled, blackened, and it does traditional barbecue as well. The waitresses--all young'uns, but all equipped with the three "T"s-tank tops, ta-tas, and tattoos--(Jay points out emphatically that) a good set of knockers offsets a not so great face..."
The gift shop boasts all kinds of t shirts-to include the tank tops the waitresses are wearing, and in the fashionable camouflage design-- both Mossy Oak and Real Tree.
Not impressed yet?
Well, for all you sinners out there (Cardinal, Mortal, and other) there is regular Sunday service by the Providence Bible Church on Sunday morning at 0830 where their motto (I swear this is on the napkin holder) "NO SHIRT NO SHOES NO PROBLEM"...
Out front is a revival type sign proclaiming "HOLY MOSES" with none other than Charles Heston, the original Moses-- holding up the Ten Commandments...Glory!!!
The meal? Jay had blackened salmon with sweet potato french fries and red potatoes--I opted for the grilled mahi-mahi with cole slaw and broccoli--inasmuch as my colon has been rejecting my body for the last couple weeks I gotta play it safe. The only flaw we saw was no cheese grits..but neither of us had the guts to ask anyone about it for fear of getting our butts kicked by either the employees or the patrons.
The verdict? as my ex Rachel Ray says--"DEELISH!". When I like something I say it makes me hunch. I asked Jay did it make him hunch and he said no but he was considering coming back for church on Sunday.
Amen.
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