Jimmy Hoffa Found….

I am day 3 into my Mr. Mom routine--I am washing clothes, picking up the youngest from school, having serious "Tah time" with the Pottamus, and working my natural born ass off in the house I can still ill afford...my wife wants for nothing. If i keep it up shes going to be a widow woman soon. I feel like John Henry when he was racing the machinery.

It had been put off for quite some time, but it had come to this---me or it. It was time. no guts, no glory.

The Refrigerator—the one bought by wifey when I was in Iraq, the one whose picture I posted up on the wall when everyone else put up pictures of the new Harley-Davidson motorcycles—(I had a photo of the fridge and the one of the washer and dryer. I still catch hell from my buddies about it).

The Fridge needed cleaning. It had no less than the following items in it (I highlight the major finds only)

1) three half eaten jars of hamburger dill chips

2) 1/3 bottle of greek olives (used sometime in 2007 for one of Wifeys new recipes)

3) Sun dried tomatoes (3 jars—one jar legitimate, the other two lost months ago)

4) More pickles-little gherkins—moderately consumed-

5) Bottle white vinegar (why I needed vinegar with all those jars of pickles is beyond me)

6) 5 containers of Parmesan, Parmesan and Romano, cheese. All were combined into one container (hint from George-one container was a “brand” name so I poured it all in there so I can impress my guests)

7) How much yellow mustard does one need? (three containers-combined value 75 cents- deliver me)—still have one huge one left

8) The decadent  Chocolate dessert from Valentines day-still in the serving glass-guess it was too decadent to eat—it got pushed back behind the mustard—who knew?

9) Marischino cherries—think maybe we used only a couple—return to duty.

10) 3 containers of crème cheese for the bagels-combined you couldn’t smear one half a bagle—it happens, people, especially with kids in the house.

11) BOOZE!! Woo-hoo!!! Extra points!!! An Anheuser Busch American Ale from last summer, a Negro Modelo, 2 Michelob Ultras, a Yuengling Lager (this was placed in their last week and this is the beer God drinks) and a bottle of wine with a screw on top. (think sister in law brought it over)

12) Miracle Whip- 2 containers, consolidated.

13) 5 of those canned bread sticks—still within the expiration date, BONUS!

14) 2 cans of biscuits, starting to swell---discarded.

15) the TV remote and car keys to my 95 Oldsmobile.

I emptied the contents, I scrubbed, soaked, sprayed, bleached, lathered rinsed and repeated. Then I re-assembled and put back in the stuff that was good. The other two bags I lugged to the dumpster, and just in time, because the trash men were coming up the street.

Victory is mine.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must get supper started. Chicken coated with mustard and parmesan cheese and maraschino cherries on top. Side items will be gherkin pickles and breadsticks.

The old battle axe,er uh, I mean, Wifey-- had better dang well appreciate it.

Shes a lucky girl, I tell you.